Yesterday,  President Obama came out of the closet to say: ”For me personally it is important for me to affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married.”

And then the world imploded. Or you’d think it did based on the outraged reactions from conservatives and liberal Christians alike.  Predictably, Fox Nation immediately condemned President Obama’s statement as a “declar[ation of] war on Marriage”:

And Rush Limbaugh echoed the same sentiment. (Do we have to count Rush Limbaugh as a Christian?) And of course, social media offered  up this gem:

When I announced my support of President Obama on Twitter, this random non-follower told me I wasn’t actually a Christian:

O, RLY?

And another person posted this message on Facebook:

That last reaction is based on the rest of President Obama’s statement that the Golden Rule of Christianity — treat others as you want to be treated — led him to support legalizing same sex marriage:

“In the end the values that I care most deeply about and [Michelle] cares most deeply about is how we treat other people,” he said. “We are both practicing Christians and obviously this position may be considered to put us at odds with the views of others but, you know, when we think about our faith, the thing at root that we think about is, not only Christ sacrificing Himself on our behalf, but it’s also the Golden Rule—treat others the way you would want to be treated. And I think that’s what we try to impart to our kids and that’s what motivates me as president, and I figure the most consistent I can be in being true to those precepts, the better I’ll be as a dad and a husband and hopefully the better I’ll be as president.”

How dare he?!

I am not disputing what the Bible says about homosexuality in any way.  The text says what it says and says it more than once. I am not enough of a Bible scholar to make any argument for what else God could have possibly meant by including those statements repeatedly in the Bible and so I won’t.  What I am  saying is that what the Bible says about homosexuality should have no bearing on our reactions as Christians to gays and lesbians having the legal choice to marry in America, and here is my four-point Biblical explanation for that:

1) Matthew 7:12:  “In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” It may be very hard for some Christians to put themselves in the shoes of gays and lesbians, so I’m not going to ask you to do that.  But I will ask that you consider what it would be like if:

• Your husband or wife was forbidden by law from coming to your hospital bedside as you lay dying;
• Distant relatives were left to make decisions about your health care because your husband or wife wasn’t legally recognized;
• You were unable to have children and then because of your caste and not your character you are legally forbidden from adopting children with your husband or wife;
• You were forbidden from marrying the person you’ve chosen to love based upon the religious views of a Muslim / Buddhist / Taoist / Hindu /*insert religion that is not yours*.

For all of our Constitution’s original flaws, we can celebrate that We the People came together over time and made the Constitution better, including creating the First Amendment which prohibits the government from having any established religion. THIS IS A GOOD THING because your religion might not always be the religion of the majority at the moment.  Though Christians in office should do their best to legislate in a Christian way (read: in a way that MEETS PEOPLE’S NEEDS, i.e. providing food, shelter, clothing, and health care), legislating the Bible is neither a good idea nor is it fundamentally Christian.  Here’s why:

2) Revelation 3:20: “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me”;  2 Corinthians 9:7: “Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver”;  and Joshua 24:15: “Choose you this day whom you will serve.”

There are some very important action words in these scriptures describing what Christ wants us to do in regards to Him: a) hear and open the door to Christ; b) DECIDE c) CHOOSE.  Each of these scriptures underscores the principle theme of Christianity:  it is a free-will CHOICE God grants to us. He does not force Himself onto us but desires that we would know Him and become so in love with Him that we would CHOOSE Him, CHOOSE His way, CHOOSE to honor Him with our life, our words, our deeds.

The choice for Christ is individual, it is intimate and extremely personal. God designed it that way and He did so for a reason.  I don’t pretend to know WHY He didn’t just make us all good, obedient, non-sinning folks, but that’s obviously not for us to know. The important thing is that God gave us free will — not the government and not the world. As the song goes, “the world didn’t give it and the world can’t take it away!”

3) Mark 10:9: “Therefore, what God has put together, let no man separate.” Romans 8:38-39: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” 1 Corinthians 11:34: “And the REST will I set in order when I come.”

I know that some Christians are genuinely concerned that their own marriages will become void if gays and lesbians get married. Seriously, people, ”Let not your heart be trouble, neither let it be afraid.” If GOD joined you together, what does that say of the ultimate power and authority of the almighty God if someone else’s distant activities can separate you? Paul said he is CONVINCED that nothing can separate Him from God, and as Christians, there is no Biblical basis for us to feel like someone else’s activities can make us unholy. Our choice to react to someone else’s activities is the ONLY thing that can make us unholy in the sight of God.

God said the REST — everything not perfectly clear in the Bible — He will set in order when He comes back for us.  If HE has a problem with ANY kind of sin, please believe Him when He says He’ll handle it.

Finally,

4) Acts 2:42-47:  ”They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.  Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,  praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.”

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: If Christians really want to have a “Christian nation,” they’ll act like it. And by “act,” I mean Acts 2:41-47, above. Because the believers in the first church in Acts were so generous and kind and loving to one another, providing and sacrificing for one another, the LORD touched the hearts of those around them and ADDED Christians to their numbers DAILY.  That’s the sign of real Christianity.  Real Christianity is contagious! If your behavior is not rubbing off on others, check the water cause something in it ain’t clean. If we want people to live a Christian life and abide by the Bible with the spirit of Christ and the Holy Spirit convicting them, we kind of have to do those things ourselves first!

I don’t want to come across as too hard on Christians who are upset about President Obama’s statement supporting same-sex marriage.  I understand how difficult it is for Christians who just want to live by the Bible to navigate exactly what we’re supposed to do in every situation that the Bible has not clearly laid out for us.  We ARE supposed to call out other Christians when they say something wrong in the name of Christ.  We ARE supposed to call out sin in love to those with receptive ears.  But this is an issue that is not as black and white as “thou shalt not have pre-marital sex” (which, ironically, is an issue that does NOT seem to inspire in Christians a desire to picket or amend the Constitution).

But what is real is that there are people in this country who are hurting. There are kids who are committing suicide because of the way they are being treated and that is CLEARLY not what God wants for any of His children to do, since Christ came that we might have LIFE and have it more abundantly. So as straight Christians (and some of you extra hype people that might be in the closet yourselves) something’s got to give.

I don’t pretend to know exactly how Christians should navigate these muddy waters of legislating in a Christian way but NOT legislating the Bible.  It’s a tightrope walk, to be sure.  But I do know that Christ has called us to feed His sheep, clothe them, visit them in jail, shelter them, and provide for their most basic needs: to feel loved and cared for and respected as human beings.  We are equally God’s children and as such, we are all equally eligible to receive the grace, peace, love, forgiveness and hope of Christ.  If we as Christians — whether in our policies as legislators or our daily lives — strive to remember these things and do as President Obama has done, “treat people the way you want to be treated,” we will consistently please God.  And isn’t that the whole point anyway?

Peace and blessings to everyone as they choose their life paths based on their convictions.  But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Oh yeah, and we’re voting for Obama.

Does President Obama have your Christian vote? Like this Facebook Page: President Obama Has My Christian Vote

EBONY caught up with Dave Chappelle, MSNBC hosts Tamron Hall and Al Sharpton, Michael Eric Dyson, Dancing with the Starswinner J.R. Martinez, and White House Adviser Valerie Jarrett at MSNBC’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner After Party – all of whom agreed that the highlight of the evening was President Obama’s speech.  Even former Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele confessed to EBONY that, though “Jimmy [Kimmel’s speech] was great, the President was just in his groove!”

Read the rest of my recap here. It’s hard to believe that only a week ago I was dancing the night away with Michael Eric Dyson, Tamron Hall, David Gregory and Michael Steele and escaping the ridiculous heat in the cigar tent with Dave Chappelle.  This was definitely a life highlight. God is so good and He answers random prayers when you LEAST expect it! Never give up hope on the dreams God has placed in your heart!

Dave Chappelle

Michael Eric Dyson

MSNBC Host Ed Schultz of The Ed Show

DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

Jeremy Bird (aka the guy who sends you all the Obama emails)

The host! Jimmy Kimmel

Michael Steele

Chace Crawford AND Darren Criss were also there and I didn’t see them. *insert heartache* Ah well. Absolutely fun times!

“She’ll live with me!” Ms. Gibson told my mother.  My mother’s facial expression was enough to make Ms. Gibson amend her original statement.  ”Of course you both can stay with me…”  But, my mother the dedicated family woman wasn’t having it. My family moved to Nebraska, where nobody was checking for Black actresses of any age. Thus, my acting career and dreams of New York died quickly.

Until September 11, 2001.  My father had retired from the Air Force the year before and we’d moved back to Virginia and the Twin Towers and the Pentagon had been struck.  I had become obsessed with it.  I would watch and re-watch video of the towers being hit and the towers crumbling in upon themselves and the people jumping to their deaths.  I would read and re-read every narrative available of every man, woman and child on each of the planes, as if they would all be forgotten about if I didn’t.  Junior boys at my high school were making jokes to cope the very day it happened and after a few months, it felt like everyone had moved on. None of the families in my school or church were directly affected and it felt like everyone had forgotten.  So I remembered enough for everyone.

And then my mother took me to New York to visit my aunt and cousin in Brooklyn for my spring break — I was the kind of girl who went on spring breaks with parents instead of friends (and still am, actually). The sun was shining just for me as I strutted about Manhattan in Chucks, heavy eye make-up, spiked bracelets to match my short, flipped up hair and an I [Heart] New York shirt with the neck cut out of it (I had a short goth phase).  We prayed at Ground Zero and I bought every piece of World Trade Center memorabilia I could get my hands on.  Strong people lived in NYC — survivors — and I’d decided that day I was going to be one of them.

Then somewhere along the line I must’ve changed my mind.  When it came time to apply to college, I didn’t even bother to apply to NYU or Columbia as I had fantasized I would for at least a year.  I guess I imagined I’d just go there for law school.  But then the time for law school came around and again I didn’t bother applying anywhere in New York. And then law school graduation came and went and I made my way to DC. And the rest, as they cliché, is history.

But New York was always in the background wooing me quietly.  And this winter, when I’d gone up to Manhattan to review a few Broadway shows, I fell in love all over again.  The noise, the energy, the food, the people, the history the culture! There is absolutely nothing not to love about New York.   And I thought, “Why not?”  A dangerous question for an incurable optimist to ask herself.  And after three years in D.C., now seems like the absolute perfect time to pack it up and ship it out.

There’s a funny thing about me and the number three.  I spent three years in high school, three years in college, three years in law school and three years in the real world here in the District.  I like to think I live my life in three’s — One for the Father, one for the Son, and one for the Holy Spirit.  My friend countered this idea by saying the only three I live by are the letters A.D.D.

Touché.

Maybe there is a perfectly good reason why I can’t seem to sit still for very long. Or maybe there isn’t at all.  Maybe moving to Manhattan and pursuing writing full-time on the flimsiest of hopes and floppiest of plans is foolish and cowardly.  Or maybe it’s the bravest thing I’ve ever done.  Maybe Alicia Keys is lying to me.  Or maybe this is the perfect opportunity to rediscover God’s word as truth: “A [wo]man’s gift makes room for h[er] And brings h[er] before the great.” I don’t pretend to know that this is exactly what God wants me to do with my life at this moment; I guess time will tell. But I do believe that, whether right or wrong, God will never leave me nor forsake me. He promised to prosper me and not to harm me. To give me hope and a future.  That is a tremendous comfort.

But in the meantime, please check out my articles on EBONY.com so that my amazing editor keeps giving me awesome assignments and I can feed myself while in the big city!  And this is just my “hello” post to New York, not quite my goodbye post to D.C. — I’ve got a bit more time before that. But I will always be a D.C. Diva, wherever in the world I physically find myself, so stay tuned to DCDistrictDiva.com!  My story’s not quite over just yet.

Be blessed and in His favor always!

DD

Since I watch all of my television programs a day later on HULU for a paltry $7.99 a month, I was able to rewind–and rewind, and rewind — just to make sure I saw and heard what I thought I saw and heard.

This is perhaps one of the most radical statements about what it means to be a Christian that I think I’ve ever heard on basic cable in the entirety of my TV-watching life. Observe [if you can]:

Sorry, you won’t be able to watch the clips without a Hulu Plus Subscription

If you aren’t able to watch this clip, an openly Christian teenager, Joe, (nick-named Teen Jesus) has a crush on former lead cheerleader and currently paralyzed Quinn Fabray.  (Before I go any further, KUDOS to Glee-creator Ryan Murphy and company for even having an openly Christian teenager on the show who is actually interested in living and loving like Christ! Super awesome!)

Teen Jesus is conflicted because he is starting to have hard to control sexual feelings towards the beautiful, helpless Quinn and he goes to Glee Club-mate Sam for advice on how to deal with his sexual feelings in light of his desire to live a holy life that is pleasing to God — a.k.a. abstaining from sex until marriage, as the Bible teaches.

Sam excuses his own sexual activity by saying, “When the Bible was written things were easier; there was no internet, no girls in short shorts!”  So he implores Teen Jesus, “[L]et’s be a new kind of Christian, one that prays and does right by people but understands that some of those rules are kind of old school.”

Teen Jesus protests and explains that abstaining from sex is a way of “putting the spiritual over the physical so you can feel closer to God.”

AND HERE COMES THE REVOLUTIONARY STATEMENT:

 Sam tells Teen Jesus: “All I know is, Quinn’s a great girl. But you’re going to have to decide: do you wanna be closer to God or closer to her?”

OMGLEE DID YOU CATCH THAT?! Seriously, for all of Sam’s explaining that there was such a thing as a “new kind of Christian” who can still basically do whatever (s)he wants and still be considered a “good Christian,” Sam was still able to articulate the main point about Christianity and sex before marriage:  it’s a choice between God and the person you’re lusting after.  Point-blank. Period. End of Story.

There is no getting around the fact that our sexual choices — whether abstinence, celibacy, or full-on engagement — are really choices between our will and God’s will.  And that statement was made on one of the most popular teen shows on television!

Seriously, I was like:

And that wasn’t even the end of it! Just to solidify the point that bringing up the idea of a choice between God’s way and our own way was NOT an accident, the writers of Glee doubled down on the point in a scene between Teen Jesus and Quinn:

Teen Jesus explains to Quinn that he wants her to be his girlfriend but at the same time, his faith “means everything” to him.  But he explains that he’s confused, because when he’s with Quinn, he doesn’t care about “what God says about sins of the flesh,” he just wants to be next to her.  ”You would give up your faith to be with me?” Quinn asks him, curiously.  ”I don’t know.” He responds. “Are you asking me to?”  Quickly, she says, “No, never.”  He seems disappointed, thinking that it’s because she doesn’t like him that way.  She reassures him that’s not the case and that it’s just, “nice knowing that there’s something out there that can’t be lost.”

It’s a beautiful, REAL scene that many devoted Christians –from teenagers and beyond — struggle with daily.  And whether Teen Jesus or any other Christian fall down in that struggle is between them and God and wholly irrelevant to my larger point here.

Ryan Murphy and the Glee writers have a history of tackling mainstream issues through ground-breaking story-lines — from gay and lesbian teen relationships, to bullying, to suicide.  But on Tuesday night, at least 6.9 million households in this country – not even including the millions like me who watched it the next day on HULU or DVR’d it – heard the truth about what it means to be a Christian: making the choice between your love and desire for Christ and your love and desire for your own way.  Through this Dance With Somebody episode, millions of Christians had it reinforced for us that there is actually a right way and a wrong way to do Christianity, and we have the God-given free will to make whatever choice we will as to whom we will serve: God or ourselves.

That’s pretty revolutionary, Glee. And yet another example of why I love you so!

For more on what Christ says about Sex and WHY, read this post: “Twisted: Why God’s ‘No Marriage, No Sex’ Rule is for Protection and Pleasure, Not Punishment.”

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:1-2)

Established just one month after Erin’s passing,  the Petersons have now given away 41 scholarships to 31 students attending college, and are on track to  give away over $100,000 in scholarships this year alone.  But beyond being monetary blessings to students, Mrs. Peterson dedicates her time to her daughter’s  alma mater, Fairfax County’s Westfield High School and its program for at-risk young men, Leadership for Tomorrow.  Through the Fund, Mrs. Peterson provides not only financial support for field trips and new experiences for the young men in the program, but she also personally serves as a source of emotional support and encouragement to the young men.   During yesterday’s Gospel Celebration of Life, many of the 32 young men in the program spoke individually about how much Mrs. Peterson’s personal role in their lives has transformed them.  Beyond turning around their attendance and grades and striving to achieve higher goals because of her, two of the young men shared that she has been like a mother to them.

And while there were tears, it was truly a celebration of not only Erin’s life, but also her legacy of giving and mentoring others and most of all the healing power of God’s love.  The Petersons have experienced an unfathomable heart ache, but through their faith in Christ, they are living examples of Erin’s favorite scripture, Philippians 4:13, “I can do ALL THINGS through Christ that strengthens me.” They have turned crying into celebration and tragedy into triumph; they have taken what the Devil meant for evil and have used it for the good, glory and edification of God and His people, all through Christ who has given them the strength.

It was an honor to serve as the Mistress of Ceremonies for this awesome event, and we truly celebrated the life and legacy of Erin Nicole Peterson.  She will never be forgotten and neither will the testimony of her parents.  God is truly able!

To donate to the Erin Peterson Fund tax-free, visit http://www.erinpetersonfund.org

Check out the pics from the event below and view a PDF of the program, here.

The beautiful Mrs. Celeste Peterson in the audience at the Gospel Celebration of Life

photo credit: B. Denise Hawkins, Washington Post

DC District Diva, Mistress of Ceremonies

Mimer Jayla Tibbs, a member of Mount Olive Baptist Church’s Unspoken Praise Mimers

Photo Credit: Boyd Bryant

MOBC’s Unspoken Praise Mimers joined MOBC’s More and More Praise Liturgical Dancers

Photo Credit: Boyd Bryant

Close Peterson Family Friend and Co-worker Anna Moore gave an emotional rendition of “Open Up My Heart” by Yolanda Adams

Photo Credit: Boyd Bryant

The Petersons’ niece and a crucial member of the Erin Peterson Fund was unable to attend the celebration but Skyped in a special message for her aunt and uncle

Photo Credit: Boyd Bryant

The Youth for Tomorrow (Today) Choir of First Baptist Church of Manassas tore the house down!

Photo Credit: Boyd Bryant

The MOBC Male Choir brought the soul, as usual!

Photo Credit: Boyd Bryant

THESE Phenomenal young men of Radical Praise Mime Group — I want to take my shoe off and throw it across these here innernets. They were AMAZING! Such a blessing.

The young men of Leadership for Tomorrow each spoke about what Mrs. Peterson’s involvement in their lives mean to them (pictured 2nd right of center). Later, they were joined by Mount Olive Baptist Church pastor, Eugene Johnson (center) joined them and gave his remarks.

Photo Credit: Rubin Cuffee

DC District Diva with one of the Team Erin Program Coordinators, Crystal Arful-Addoh

But what does that have to do with secular love songs? Well, I love romance, and I love love songs, but, lately, I find myself listening to them when I’m feeling particularly burned by love — of any sort.  My song of choice as of late has been Christina Perri’s powerful ballad, “A Thousand Years.”

The song describes a person who is in love but also afraid of being hurt. After she sees her love, however, she becomes brave and realizes that everything she’s ever done and experienced in her life has led her to this point of clarity: that this person is the one she’s been waiting for and has loved “for a thousand years,” and will love “for a thousand more.” Listen:

The love described in this song is so perfect and pure that I love to get lost in it.  But, then I remember that inconvenient reality that people suck and disappoint, which means their love sucks and disappoints. Which means that a person can promise — and mean it with all his heart — to have loving feelings towards you to infinity and beyond, and then “life” can happen and he doesn’t anymore.  That’s the thing about people’s feelings: they’re fickle.

And then I remember a love and a promise that is from no mere person, that isn’t a mere “feeling,” that doesn’t change with the tide and isn’t relegated to a certain class of affection.  When I think about this song in the context of Christ’s perfect embodiment of love and sacrifice, the lyrics transform into a conversation between me and Christ that tells the story of the shedding of my doubts and fears and documents my complete surrender to the timeless and unsurpassed love of God for me:

Me:

Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave

How can I love when I’m afraid to fall

But watching You stand alone

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

Christ:
I have died everyday waiting for you (1 John 3:16, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.” Revelation 3:20, Christ says “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.”) 

Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years (Isaiah 41:10, God says: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Jeremiah 1:5, God says: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” )

I’ll love you for a thousand more (Psalm 89:33, God says: “but I will not take my love from him,
nor will I ever betray my faithfulness.”)

Time stands still, beauty in all she is (Genesis 1:27-31, “So God created mankind in his own image…God saw all that He had made, and it was very good.”)

I will be brave I will not let anything

Take away what’s standing in front of me (Matthew 26:36-46, Christ prays, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.”)

Every breath, every hour has come to this (John 12:23-28, “Jesus replied, ‘The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified…it was for this very reason [to die on the cross for our sins] I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!”)

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years

I’ll love you for a Thousand more

Me:

And all along I believed I would find you (Jeremiah 29:13-14, “‘You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,’ declares the LORD.”)

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I’ll love you for a thousand more

Trusting that God really does feel this way about me like He says is really everything I need.  Believing that He is “not a man that He should lie,” that He will “never leave me, nor forsake me,” that He knows me, He loved me FIRST, and will forever love me — that is enough.

I am so grateful, so comforted, and so absolutely blown away by the knowledge of the expansiveness and unchecked power of His love for me! “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Thank you, Lord, for Your perfect love that brings me one step closer to You everyday!  Your love is better than life.

See? Sooo much better as a gospel song.

Here’s my list of songs that’d be better as gospel songs:

What’s your favorite love song that would make a better gospel song?

Well, for those just joining me, six months ago I signed a pledge to God that I wouldn’t date anyone for six months.  The pledge came from the amazing book by P.B. Wilson, “Your Knight in Shining Armor,” and I vowed that I would put aside dating and focus on allowing God to mold me into the woman He created me to be.  I made this commitment because I had not been making wise dating decisions — ever.  It was obvious that I did not trust God with my dating life because I consistently made unwise dating choices, reclassifying men with real deal-breaker issues as just “fixer-uppers,” as if I didn’t believe God had someone suitable for me waiting in the wings. So I quit that thinking, cold turkey. Six hard months.   And it was fabulous.

In six months, I analyzed every relationship and semi-relationship I’ve ever had, and discovered I’d been a soup kitchen for the emotionally homeless all this time.  I sought to be a savior to troubled men as a way of giving myself a sense of validation and purpose, not fully realizing that I was created for a God-given purpose that I didn’t have to go searching for inside of another person.  And most of all, I realized what a disservice I was doing to those young men by trying to stand in for their real Savior, Jesus Christ, who would’ve done the job much better than I ever could. After all, I couldn’t even save myself — why would I think a broken person could patch up another broken person’s holes? Futility.

In these past six months, I’ve fully surrendered and released not only the baggage from those relationships but my reasons for desiring and reveling in dysfunction, in general.  Because there are just certain qualities that a godly, Christian husband should have  and certain qualities I should have in order to be a godly, Christian wife, and at least 15 things I’ve been working on changing about myself in order to be a person that God would be pleased with.  And I’ve learned to be completely patient — even when someone who seems perfect for me is standing right in my face — because “Patience is the weapon that forces deceit to reveal itself.”

I’ve learned a lot about what love is — that it’s an action and not a noun, not a fickle feeling or ephemeral emotion. Love is a consistent choice to sacrifice yourself for another person’s benefit. Love is giving unencumbered by expectation of reciprocity.  And that makes it hard. Sometimes you have to lay down your pride and yield the opportunity to be declared right.  Love is the only way you can speak truth to people because you love them more than you love to be liked by them.

When Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13, “if I do not have love, I have nothing,” he’s not talking about the sick obsessions of your Edward-Bella-Jacobs or your Chris Brown-Rihannas, if you will. He’s not even talking about having a healthy dose of romance.  He is talking about the pure and perfect love of Jesus Christ — the real, self-sacrificing love you can have for people once you understand that God is enough.

It is enough that God created you and loves you unconditionally. It is enough that Christ found you special enough that He literally laid down His life as a sacrifice in your place so that you would not be doomed to Hell for your sins, but could instead live an abundant life on earth and go on to have eternal life in paradise with Christ after an earthly death.  And because HIS love is enough, we don’t have to use other people to make ourselves feel good. We don’t have to search for “the one” to complete us, because we’re already complete by the love and power of the almighty God. Therefore, we can stop wasting time in a needless pursuit of some other broken person’s version of “completeness” and get busy living a life that is pleasing to God — because He’s been THAT good, THAT faithful, THAT merciful to us that living any other kind of way doesn’t even make sense!

We show our gratitude and our love for Him by showing HIS love to others, just as He commanded. And when we give love, we have no choice but to get it back, pressed down, shaken together, and running over! Therefore, the only way you have a life that is full of love is by being full of love. Forgiving others and being free of a need for the validation of others.

The love of God doesn’t hurt, isn’t constricting, or threatening or manipulative or fake or self-serving.  It is patient, kind, slow to take offense but always ready for reconciliation. And it’s a process, as is everything with being human and liable to fall.

I’ve blown plenty of chances to be love for someone in the past six months.  And I’ve been blessed with plenty more to try again. That’s the faithfulness of God at work.  I was not cured of my human condition in the past months, nor did I change all 15 things on my list. I didn’t get down to the goal weight I had in mind and I didn’t achieve all that I’d set out to do in this time.  And the point is that I wasn’t supposed to and I may never and as long as I’m still growing in Christ, that’s ok.

But I did learn what love is.  And I did learn to be patient enough to weed out the counterfeit, and open enough to give and receive the real thing. There’s no greater lesson than that.

Over the past six months, I:

Got VIP passes to MLK Memorial Weekend and interviewed a TON of people, including diva Patti LaBelle, Jesse Jackson,

Roland Martin,  Michael Eric Dyson and others

Skee-Phi!

I got to visit the White House

I met and interviewed the fabulous Angel Laws

And the incomparable Gabrielle Union!

I took a lovely — and much needed — girls’ trip to New York with my cuz to see The Mountaintop on Broadway

I was  featured in Essence Magazine

I bonded with my lovely cousins

I co-hosted a fabulous holiday party

I spent a BLISSFUL two weeks watching Lord of the Rings, writing, talking, and just BEING at home with my awesome parents

I took my mom on a fabulous New York getaway for her birthday

And we wandered the Manhattan streets til 3 in the morning getting sidewalk artists to draw us

I met the fabulous B. Smith AT B. Smith’s on Restaurant Row in Times Square

And had a brunch with my fam that was the bomb.com

But was nothing compared to the Chicken and Waffles I had for the first time at Creme Cafe on U Street

I visited Frederick Douglas House on his actual birthday with my long-lost sister

And went to the Kennedy Center to see Alvin Ailey perform

I celebrated some of my favorite DC Divas with a Galentine’s Day brunch at CoCo Sala

I saw Breaking Dawn 5 times, had three Twilight Marathons, started writing two books, was nearly mugged and only Jesus came to my rescue, I lost a dear mentor, the world lost a legend, and I had my FIRST PIECE published in Ebony Magazine!!  And TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY for everything lost, gained, earned and learned through these past six glorious months!

Would YOU take the Six-Months-No-Dating Pledge?

Lord, I want You to fashion me for my prospective husband. I commit the next six months of my life for Your construction. I will surrender any area which is not controlled by You so that my life will bring You glory.

signed_______________________       Date__________________________

Available at http://www.cafepress.com/TheDivaShoppe

Purchase Your Knight In Shining Armor below and get the latest DCDistrictDiva.com shirt, “Call Me In 6 Months” at The Diva Shoppe!

Late January going through my twitter account I came across District Diva’s give away for a dinner for two on Valentine’s Day. I never thought I would get the great prize but to my surprise I did! As I was at work February 4th a friend texted me the good news that I was the winner of the District Diva give away. This was truly great news after working hard at my parttime job.

Thanks to District Diva my bestie and I had a great dinner at Georgia Brown’s  on February 14th.  The night was very busy with the hustle and bustle of reservations.  However we were greeted by the General Manager Ms. Ayanna Brown and seated immediately.  This was truly exciting because Kevon (My friend) had never been to this restaurant. So seeing the style and elegance of Georgia Brown was a true treat including the smooth Jazz we were not expecting.

When choosing an appetizer I chose the scrumptious fried green tomatoes while Kevon chose the shrimp cocktail.  In the event to try something new I had the Grilled Lamp Chops and Kevon the Saffron Bronzed Halibut. We both sampled the delicious peach cobbler and Red velvet cake. Over all the night was truly great with good service and a Happy Valentine’s Day 2012. Thank you District Diva for this gift and the gift of writing you give to many in your blog entries. Thank you for your spirit and determination to live victoriously for Christ it gives me and others the goal to do the same.

Again THANK YOU you #ROCK100%

Winner Brandy and her guest Kevon

Brandy’s Lamb Chops

So glad you were blessed, Brandy!! Thanks so much, again, Ms. Brown and Georgia Brown’s!

For example, I would NEVER do online dating, because even though I find myself perfectly acceptable, I would assume that any guy dating online MUST be a complete loser if he has to resort to such measures. Yeah, I’m unable to justify it in my head.

Also, I just cleaned out my voicemails (dating back as far as two years ago) and found one from a guy I’d met who, in the sweetest yet most confident way ever, asked me out to coffee, or lunch, or dinner, my choice. It was a year and a half old. I considered calling this guy back now and accepting, but then I thought, “why would I want to go on a date with a guy who’d accept an offer of a date a year and a half later? Even if it is for me, has he no pride?!” And so I vetoed the idea of calling him back.

And my favorite bit of hypocrisy comes from what I like to call my “rock-bottom days”.  I smooched a random guy at my friend’s birthday party a few years ago and he immediately called me the next day wanting to go out on a date and I quickly dismissed him, absolutely disgusted by the offer.   I believe my exact words were, “Excuse me, I was wildly inappropriate when I kissed you last night and I’d never be interested in someone who was interested in someone acting the way I acted, even if it was me!”  (The nerve of that guy! But MAN did that guy call me back quickly! Heaux be winnin!) SMH. I do have standards, even if they kick in late sometimes.

But, I guess the point is, even when I was at my lowest point, I know what I want and what I don’t want.  I want a guy who would stick it out with me when I’m at my worst, but isn’t attracted to it. If he’s attracted to it, that means he’d condone it, he’d enable me and be satisfied with me in that light. I don’t want a man who doesn’t mind me walking all over him, as some I’ve dated in the past have tolerated. I want to be better and I want a guy who encourages me to be my best possible self.

Maybe that’s inconsistent, unfair, hypocritical, bizarre, pick an adjective. But, I want what I want.

What are your dating double-standards? Everybody has them

What is Galentine’s?  It is, of course, an even better day than Valentine’s Day, where you celebrate your lady loves! (Pause) Well, I’ll just let Leslie Knope explain it:

So, in honor of Galentine’s Day, I gathered many of my favorite D.C. Divas together this past Saturday for brunch, gifts, and declarations of my undying love at the incomparable CoCo Sala (the Chocolate Room) in downtown D.C. where we proceeded to have a mind-blowing dining experience. (Pause)

Literally every food could double as a dessert, as most menu items have chocolate tastefully and delicately infused some kind of way.  In fact, when I read the menu to my father to explain to him how epic my very first Galentine’s Day celebration was going to be, he said “That sounds like a place for fat people!”  And if I eat there every Sunday like I plan to, I will be one of those people. I am not ashamed of the good food at CoCo Sala.

Imagine, if you will, chocolate covered bacon. S’mores French Toast. “Cheese Magic” that can only be described as, well, magical. Ok, don’t imagine. Just observe:

Cheese Magic

S’mores French Toast with breakfast cocktails Berries & Bubbles and Peachy Keen

Breakfast Flatbread which many of the ladies chose

Hotcake Obsession the fluffiest pancakes ever created by mere mortals

Aztec Cheese Enchilada

The Amuse of the Day, which I can’t recall the name of, but trust me, was a ball of sugary sunshine in my mouth. (Pause)

Also, there were desserts that we each had, but by the time desserts came around, we were too obsessed with eating to actually take anymore pictures, so you’re going to have to go and experience it for yourselves!

My lovely DC Divas and I had the most wonderful brunch celebration!  In true Diva fashion, we dressed up and wore hats or flowers, and each lady left with a cute Galentine’s Day bag of goodies:

This will definitely be an annual event! And if I do say so, myself, I’m pretty sure I out-Knoped Leslie Knope! Nah, not possible. I don’t know how to crochet. But there’s always next year! And I agree with Leslie, this should be a National Holiday. *Phones Congresswoman Holmes-Norton*